Copy Copy Copy

I targeted the loan pages these last two weeks. According to Google Analytics, these pages were some of the most visited. I focused on the auto, credit card, home, and RV loan pages. The effectiveness of these pages plays a major role in Beehive’s objective to increase the number of services used per member.

Because these pages were already a focus of Beehive, their visual design was much stronger than previous pages I had reviewed. They also all had interactive elements, like loan calculators, to get users engaging with the content.

My main focus was to improve the copy of these pages so that the information flowed well, stayed concise, and promoted the product.

I would read through a page to get a feel for the flow and overall purpose of the copy and then dissect one text segment at a time. Here’s an example of a segment that I revised:

Original – “Beehive makes it simple to finance your RV, because life should be about living, and summers should always be full of adventure.”

Revised – “We’re here for your adventure. With the easiest RV financing, Beehive lets you focus on making your family’s summer the best one yet.”

In this example, I tried to make the statement more specific to Beehive’s audience by speaking directly to them and including a family dynamic. I also made sure to, first, establish what Beehive believed in before tying that belief to a product.

Overall, As I went through the pages for this sprint, I learned that specific copy is powerful, that there’s a delicate balance between consistency and redundancy, and that copy does best when it doesn’t draw attention to itself.